The Joy of No
This morning I received a message from someone requesting a single picture. Who ever wants to buy just one pic? I already had a bad feeling about this, but, ignoring the initial red flag, I responded.
"I want you to write my name on your ass" he texted.
Writing on myself has always been a limit of mine. I've never done it for a customer and there's just something about it that really turns me off, not to mention the complete drag it would be to scrub "Cum Slut for Kevin" off my body so it doesn't show up in any other media I create, or when I'm picking the kids up from school, ffs.
I said, "Sorry, I don't write on my body for clients."
His response: "Wtf? Why don't you write on yourself?"
Me: "I don't want to."
He then decided he wanted a full pic set of me sucking a dildo while I wore a pantyhose bodysuit covering most of my face. Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a sale and you've already stopped liking the person who is ordering? That was happening to me right then.
We settled on a price, but before he sent payment, he launched into another set of questions, starting with "Why don't you write on yourself? I'll pay you." This is now the second time he's asked me to do this, and I knew then he needed to disappear. I knew that this person wasn't going to be fun to work with, he can't respect boundaries, and now I'm gonna be on the hook for shoving a fake dick in my mouth for this dude. For this dude??
"I'm really not enjoying this transaction at all. Take care," I typed, and swiftly pressed the Block button while he began typing away a response that never made it to my inbox. The second I blocked him, I felt a sense of relief.
Any type of work where you're dealing with the public is difficult as you navigate through various personalities, needs and demands of people. Sex work is only different in that the intensity is ramped up to a crazy level, where you're dealing not just with someone buying a random product, but a sexual fantasy. Their own fears, desires, shame and history all come into play when dealing with you. In hiring you, they're sharing a part of themselves. This is why emotional labor can be so taxing on sex workers. While people are laying all of this on you, you're naked, and you're expected to perform, mirroring the fantasy they have in their head. It's a heavy burden for anyone, but dealing with disrespectful or clueless people is like having to masturbate with a pair of sharp scissors. It's not fun.
Blocking people like this gives me more time to dedicate to my business and people who know how to treat sex workers. He can keep his money, and while it's not likely, maybe he'll treat the next person a little better.