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Refunds are a tricky subject when it comes to sex work. The quality of your product is subjective and often intangible; it’s not like buying a loaf of old bread (well, hopefully not anyway). However, there are best practices when providing and receiving goods for personal care services that other industries use every day, such as spas and hair salons, that can easily be applied in our industry. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when either asking for or considering giving a refund.

Once a buyer has paid, the seller books the customer for a scheduled day. If the buyer asks for a refund BEFORE the scheduled day, at least a partial refund should be considered. Buyers change their minds, feel ashamed, get girlfriends, etc. all the time. As a seller, why is this your problem? I’ll tell you: You may be a sex worker, but really what you are is a salesperson. You are operating a business, and sales is about maintaining business relationships. For every refund I’ve ever given, every single one of those customers, without fail, has come back to purchase more from me. Fair refunds establish trust.

If the refund is requested on the scheduled day, feel free to refuse a refund as your schedule has been thrown off and you’re now left with advertising another pair in hopes that day won’t be profitless. I’ve never had a buyer request a refund once the day has arrived, but if he did, I would most likely soften the blow a little by saying, “I’ve lost the day, so while I can’t give a refund, I’m happy to offer a free add on if you’d like to come back and order again.” Perhaps that makes me too nice, but that’s just me.

I thank God this hasn’t happened to me, but in the event your customer gets the product and hates it, you have the responsibility of at least asking why. I’ve had late shipments that were so botched by the post office that I’ve had to replace the order. This is the cost of doing business, and again, once a customer sees that you run your business as a professional, they will always come back to you again. If you have made any mistake on your part, you need to offer at least a partial refund. This includes, but is not limited to: shipping late, wearing perfume/scented lotion without being asked, not providing tracking on time, failing to include requested media, or indiscreet packaging.

Giving refunds is less about losing a little money and more about considering long term sales goals and establishing a solid customer base. You can choose to keep the money at all costs and guarantee that that’s the last dime you ever see from that person, or you can cultivate a business relationship that will turn that one sale into many.


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